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Miranda Writes: Facing Homosexuality, Part 7

by Omar Miranda

Confronting the Christian Homosexual, Part 1

In this last installment of this series, we’ll discuss how we as Christians should respond and interact with love toward someone who doesn’t see a problem with being homosexual or having homosexual feelings . . . and they’re a Christian.

Let’s be real clear about this: Regardless of what choice somebody makes, whether they want to continually and openly choose homosexual practices and lifestyles, or whether they’re just having homosexual feelings or thoughts, God still loves them! He will always love them (see my article entitled “There’s Nothing You Can Do to Make Me Stop Loving You!”). However, God cannot overlook purposeful, planned, consistent and continual sin. No sin can ultimately stand in His presence, and there will come a day when all those who willingly choose to live a life of sin—no matter what it is—will have to pay the price and feel the consequences. And just to review, the Bible says that sin pays off with death (see Romans 6:23). I know that’s not a real popular viewpoint in our culture today, but that’s what God says.

In dealing with another Christian who doesn’t have a problem with living a homosexual lifestyle in thought or in deed, I would begin to pray, pray, pray! Pray for wisdom and guidance from God in what you say, when you say it, and how you say it. Pray that God will work on and soften the heart of the person who feels that way. Pray that you’ll have the right outlook toward that person and not become cynical or treat them with hatred and disrespect. I’ve had tons of conversations with people about how they stopped going to church because some well-meaning Christian was rude to them about their view of “truth.”

I’m a strong believer in the idea that God can and will use the positive words that we tell others as seeds that can be planted deep into their souls and produce wonderful and powerful results long after we’ve spoken them. Proverbs 18:21 says: “Words can bring death or life! Talk too much, and you will eat everything you say” (CEV).*

The next thing that’s important to do is to listen, listen, listen. You’ve got to explore why that Christian feels that way and how they can justify their mistaken beliefs. At this point, you’re simply listening for information, for motivation, and for understanding of their position and their view of God.

Many people who are Christians and homosexual have the following two types of viewpoints or justifications for continuing to be homosexual:

• God is love. He is merciful and graceful and He would never judge me or send me to hell. This belief smacks of something called unitarian universalism. Basically speaking, this belief states that God is love and therefore no one will be lost. Everybody will be saved and go to heaven. You can live any way that you like; it doesn’t matter. However, Jesus Himself said that anyone who comes to God has to come through Him. There is no other way.

• The Bible was written in a different time and culture and there were a lot of differences in their culture that don’t really apply to life and culture today. Interestingly enough, most well-meaning Christian homosexuals don’t take that view about the entire Bible, just the stuff that God clearly says about homosexuality and homosexual practices. What I would say is this: Either the Bible is all and always true and relevant or it’s not. There’s no in-between.
In terms of listening to them, remember, you’re not trying to agree or disagree with them or even prove your point or how wrong they are in their beliefs. You’re just listening. James 1:19, 20 gives us a wonderful prescription for this: “My dear friends, you should be quick to listen and slow to speak or to get angry. If you are angry, you cannot do any of the good things that God wants done” (CEV).

What you’re trying to do at this point is also to build relational money, so to speak, into their relationship bank account, because in future interactions, you will be making huge withdrawals by sharing with them the truth about what God has to say about homosexuality. Those conversations will by nature be hard and may get ugly, but even in the midst of those difficult times, your friend needs to be clear and know that you care about them as a person, about your relationship with them, and ultimately, about their salvation—regardless of whether they see things your way or not.

OK, you’ve prayed and listened and feel as if you understand where the other person is coming from and what their view of God is; now it’s time to lovingly and patiently share with them what God has to say about knowing truth and living truth. You also need to share with them what God has to say about Christians judging one another. Now be prepared for them to get really upset—and I mean really upset—about the whole judgment thing. Satan has done a great job fooling the world (Christians included) into believing that we shouldn’t judge one another, that somehow judgment is bad. But let me tell you something: If someone has committed a crime, all of a sudden we don’t think judgment is so bad. Again, either we like judgment and all that goes with it or we don’t; we can’t have it both ways. What homosexual Christians mean by the statement “Don’t judge me” is typically “Don’t tell me that what I’m doing is wrong, because I don’t want to hear it.” For some reason, people think that just because we’re Christians, we should have loose standards about life and godliness, but God thinks otherwise.

God tells us that each and every one of us as a Christian is responsible for quality assurance in the church of Jesus Christ. We are to judge one another because we love one another and we don’t want a person’s sin to continue to hurt them (like in the popular show Intervention) and their relationships with God and others and bring shame and basically bad publicity to God’s and the church’s reputation. This type of judgment is positive and proactive in that it seeks to stop the individual early in their sin process before there are consequences that are so damaging that there’s no recovering from them. This type of good judgment is done to bring that person back into relationship with God, with themselves, and with others.

The flip side of good judgment is . . . that’s right, bad judgment. It’s been said that the Christian army is the only army that shoots its wounded. I know, I know: that’s harsh, but with many people it’s absolutely true. As we’ve said before, it’s one thing to judge someone because you’re worried about them and have their ultimate best interest at heart, and in the meantime you continue to have regular contact with them and offer them clear boundaries, consistent support, and tough love—all in the hopes that they’ll recognize the bad decisions they’ve made and come back to God. But in terms of bad judgment, getting on to somebody because they’re living in known sin, getting mad at them and letting them drop like a hot potato—that’s not cool. That is not what Christ would do. The bottom line is this: People are always watching us, and when they come to their senses, they’re going to remember who the real Christians were and they’ll connect with them and kick the hypocrites to the curb!

Next week we’ll look specifically at a Bible passage that addresses this specific issue of a Christian outright living a life of sexual immorality. We’ll get some specific information and applications on how to lovingly and respectfully, but in a clear and straightforward manner, deal with a homosexual Christian.
Until next time, remember these things: God’s way is always the best way. Life is full of decisions, so make yours good ones. Put God first in your life, and you can’t go wrong.

Feel free to contact me: you can e-mail me at; or you can keep up with me on Facebook; or you can read more of my stuff on Miranda Writes, at; or you can check me out or send me a message at my Web site,; or you can reach me via snail mail (slow!) at the address printed below.

In Christ,
Omar Miranda, certified Christian counselor
Abundant Life Ministries
155 Earl Street
Plainville, GA 30733
Phone: 1-770-354-2912

1Scripture quotations identified CEV are from the Contemporary English Version. Copyright © American Bible Society 1991, 1995. Used by permission.
Omar Miranda is a Christian counselor with 20 years’ experience working with youth in public and private middle and high schools. He’s married and has two kids. He enjoys teaching the youth at his church, reading, writing, gardening, and camping. He’s a recovering knucklehead who spent a lot of time in the past doing stupid stuff away from God. He’s been back with God for years now and is eager to share what he’s learned from his experiences by answering any questions you may have about life, the Christian life, Jesus, spiritual matters, and relationships in his column, Miranda Writes.

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