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Miranda Writes: Facing Homosexuality, Part 6

by Omar Miranda

Loving One Out

This week we’ll be discussing two important issues: How do you get out of a lifestyle of homosexuality? and How can you help someone else get out of a lifestyle of homosexuality?

The first thing you must recognize is that you can get out. We’ve clearly established that fact in part 4 of this series. No one is born gay. The homosexual lifestyle is ultimately about choice, and if you can make a choice to begin, then you can make a choice to stop. However, this is where the simplicity ends. Stopping this lifestyle will be difficult because (1) any action that we do repeatedly becomes a habit—whether good or bad—and habits are hard to break; and (2) the strong unconditional, “nonjudgmental” support that many times strongly bonds and binds the homosexual community together can serve many times as almost crushing negative peer pressure against someone who is trying to get out of the lifestyle of homosexuality.

Someone trying to stop this lifestyle will need all the positive social, emotional, and, most important, spiritual support that they can get to replace all the support they’ve lost. They’ll also need to be praying long and hard for strength and guidance to follow through with this positive and wonderful decision and have many others praying for him or her.

I’ve found it interesting that the devil really brings back feelings of guilt and shame to people who are in the midst of trying to get out of the homosexual lifestyle and will orchestrate all kinds of crazy obstacles, negative situations, and relationship issues. Understand clearly what the apostle Paul said is true: “We are not fighting against humans. We are fighting against forces and authorities and against rulers of darkness and powers in the spiritual world” (Ephesians 6:12, CEV).¹ But, as we’ve already learned, God is much more powerful than Satan will ever be, and God will win every time.

I’ve found it to be helpful to have someone confess all their sins and wipe the slate clean with God, so to speak, before they get ready to make a serious change in their life such as this. King David put it this way in Psalm 139:23, 24: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life” (NLT).² That way, when the devil starts bringing back all that you’ve done, you can remind him that you are free in Christ. Look at what Paul said: “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death” (Romans 8:1, 2, NLT). After someone has made a fresh start with God, they’ve got to keep that relationship—and the power to change that God gives—fresh with daily doses of God by reading, studying the Bible, and praying.

I also strongly recommend connecting with an experienced Christian counselor or youth pastor who can help you start clearly looking at the reasons you chose this lifestyle. As I’ve mentioned before, people choose this lifestyle for any number of different reasons. It is highly likely that a person goes into this lifestyle for only one reason. A counselor or pastor can also help to give that person good emotional support through this very difficult period. Another thing a counselor can do for someone is to plug them in to appropriate and helpful materials and resources such as the information found in these two Web sites:
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In terms of helping someone come out of a homosexual lifestyle, the first best thing to do is to begin to pray, pray, pray! Then you must be honest with yourself and your beliefs and biases about homosexuality. You must also be willing to be supportive and loving, but you must balance that love and support with consistency and the ability to call sin sin. Remember, you’re not doing your friend/family member any favors by covering up his or her sin or making excuses for them. And last, you must be willing to educate yourself. The organization called Exodus International has incredible resources and a workshop called “Love One Out.” These are specifically designed to give friends and family of people in homosexuality support, love, and accountability as their loved one makes the difficult transition back into heterosexuality. Check out their Web site at and the info about “Love One Out” at

I hope the information I’ve been sharing with you over the past several weeks has been informative and interesting to you, but more important, I hope that it has helped either you specifically or someone you know. Remember, God always wants us to love others just the way we’ve been loved by Him.
Write me and let me know what you think of the information that I’ve shared. In the next, and last, installment in this series on homosexuality, we’ll discuss how we as Christians should respond and interact with love toward someone who doesn’t see a problem with being homosexual or having homosexual feelings—and they’re a Christian.

Until next time, remember these things: God’s way is always the best way. Life is full of decisions, so make yours good ones. Put God first in your life, and you can’t go wrong.

Feel free to contact me: you can e-mail me at; or you can keep up with me on Facebook; or you can read more of my stuff on Miranda Writes, at; or you can check me out or send me a message at my Web site,; or you can reach me via snail mail (slow!) at the address printed below.

In Christ,
Omar Miranda, certified Christian counselor
Abundant Life Ministries
155 Earl Street
Plainville, GA 30733
Phone: 1-770-354-2912

1Scripture quotations identified CEV are from the Contemporary English Version. Copyright © American Society 1991, 1995. Used by permission.
2Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Omar Miranda is a Christian counselor with 20 years’ experience working with youth in public and private middle and high schools. He’s married and has two kids. He enjoys teaching the youth at his church, reading, writing, gardening, and camping. He’s a recovering knucklehead who spent a lot of time in the past doing stupid stuff away from God. He’s been back with God for years now and is eager to share what he’s learned from his experiences by answering any questions you may have about life, the Christian life, Jesus, spiritual matters, and relationships in his column, Miranda Writes.

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