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Miranda Writes: Facing Homosexuality, Part 4

by Omar Miranda

Is Homosexuality a Choice or Not?

This week we’re going to be looking at the questions and the research behind the questions: Is homosexuality something you can control? And Is homosexuality a choice you make, or are you born that way?

As we start our discussion, know that I wouldn’t be sharing this information with you if it weren’t truly important. I believe that we as Christians need to know what we believe and what the other side believes as well. Then and only then can we effectively share the truth.

Tons of studies have been performed to try to prove that people are born gay. But as you’ll see today, the science is not so good. In my estimation people tend to view homosexuality more favorably when they think people are born gay because it’s neat and clean and there’s no one to blame.

Dr. Jeffrey Satinover, a medical doctor and former fellow in child psychiatry at Yale University, has taken a thorough look at data from three big-deal studies that set out to prove that people are born gay. He discovered that all these studies were flawed either in how they were set up, how they were carried out, or how their data was interpreted. Read the details about his discoveries and the studies at

More recently, a guy named Dr. Robert Spitzer, one of the men who helped eliminate the American Psychiatric Association’s listing of homosexuality as a mental disorder, acknowledged that some homosexuals can become heterosexual.1 And Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, president of the National Association for Research and Treatment of Homosexuality, states, “We are all heterosexual. Some heterosexuals have a homosexual problem, but it does not mean there are two different kinds of people.”2

When it comes to homosexual recovery, the good news is that, in the words of Stanton Jones, chair of psychology at Wheaton College, “anyone who says there is no hope [for change] is either ignorant or a liar. Every secular study of change has shown some success rate, and persons who testify to substantial healings by God are legion.”3

So if people aren’t born gay, then why are some people gay? There are only two other possible answers:

1. It’s their choice. Often at puberty, when their bodies and brains started changing, they became aware of homosexual feelings, just as any teenager becomes aware of sexual desires and attractions toward members of the opposite sex. Then the person made the conscious decision to act on those feelings.

2. It’s a result of multiple factors. Some of these factors have to do with family environment in which a child grew up; if the child showed emotional tendencies of the opposite sex, e.g., a boy showing effeminate characteristics; if a father was physically and/or emotionally present in the home; if there was a strong or overly controlling mother figure in the home; if a child experienced any kind of abuse or neglect; if a biological parent appropriately bonded with the child; if a child is adopted; the age of the mother when she had the child . . . I could go on and on, but I won’t.

The point is that the factors that can influence a person to choose homosexuality are so varied that it’s never a neat and clean case. So while research shows that homosexuality is something people can control, no one can control the type of family in which they grew up, or if their parents loved them and gave them what they emotionally needed.

With that said, I’ll share with you that I’ve personally counseled many homosexual clients, and they’ve all told me the exact same thing: that when they first publicly and openly admitted that they were homosexual, most of them thought they had been born gay. But all of them ended up telling me something like this: “Omar, that was just an excuse I gave myself. Actually, homosexuality was a choice I made.”

Analyzing why homosexuals make the choice to be homosexual can be very tricky. But in my experience, my clients boiled it down to two factors:

1. Support. I’ve been told that the support structure for homosexuals and homosexual communities is tight-knit and very strong. (Perhaps we as Christians could learn a thing or two from them in this regard.)

2. Acceptance. Many homosexual people embrace the homosexual lifestyle and don’t judge others because they themselves fear being judged. The problem with this type of thinking is that there are no standards, and homosexual thinking and acting out have no stopping point. Remember the passage in Romans 1 that we looked at last week? Read it again and think about this factor.

Regardless of what we personally think about homosexuality, if we call ourselves Christians, then we must fearlessly reach out to homosexuals in love, grace, and compassion, yet in holy boldness for God’s righteous standards of morality, behavior, and sexuality, all the while offering God’s forgiveness, salvation, and healing.

Next week we’ll look at the question Is homosexuality damaging emotionally, physically, and spiritually?

Until next time, remember these things: God’s way is always the best way; life is full of decisions, so make yours good ones; and when you put God first in your life, you can’t go wrong.

Feel free to contact me: you can e-mail me at; you can keep up with me on Facebook; you can read more of my stuff on Miranda Writes at; you can check me out or send me a message at my Web site,; or you can reach me via snail mail (slow!) at the address below.

In Christ,
Omar Miranda, certified Christian counselor
Abundant Life Ministries
155 Earl Street
Plainville, GA 30733
Phone: 770-354-2912

1Taken from
Omar Miranda is a Christian counselor with 20 years’ experience working with youth in public and private middle and high schools. He’s married and has two kids. He enjoys teaching the youth at his church, reading, writing, gardening, and camping. He’s a recovering knucklehead who spent a lot of time in the past doing stupid stuff away from God. He’s been back with God for years now and is eager to share what he’s learned from his experiences by answering any questions you may have about life, the Christian life, Jesus, spiritual matters, and relationships in his column, Miranda Writes.


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