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Love Wrecked




by Samantha Grant

After making several bad choices, I handed over my love life to God. When I did, He surprised me!

 I sat on the kitchen stool, tears streaming down my cheeks. “Nobody’s ever going to love me!” I wailed, looking up at my mom with red, puffy eyes. I was 14 and absolutely certain I was never going to have a boyfriend.

My mom was probably thinking, Samantha, are you complaining about this again? But I ignored the fact that she was probably fed up with hearing me whine, and I continued feeling sorry for myself.
My poor mom tried everything to get me to believe that someday my prince would come. “Just give it more time!” she said. “God has someone all picked out for you.”
My fifteenth birthday came and went, and I still hadn’t kissed an insanely hot guy. I was beginning to think I would have to take matters into my own hands since God seemed to have  forgotten all about me. Please don’t make me wait too long for my first kiss! I cried to God in my prayer journal night after night.
Then one night my parents and I went to a local Mexican restaurant for dinner. While my dad was paying our bill, the busboy that I’d had a crush on forever pulled me into the back and kissed me. Spontaneous, random, edgy—just how I’d wanted my first kiss to be.
The next day my non-Christian friend and her boyfriend, well-aware of how “socially challenged” I was, arranged a party and invited a guy they thought I’d like. My friend and I snuck out and stayed at the party all night. By four in the morning, the guy had already offered to take my virginity. I didn’t go for it.
But the next 10 months I experienced a whirlwind of late-night adventures, all of which revolved around boys and alcohol. It took me a couple of months, but I finally gave up my virginity.
Sure, my parents grounded me whenever they found out I’d snuck out, but a month later I’d be right back in the middle of my night life. It’s just a miracle that I didn’t catch some disease!
 
New school, new direction
My sophomore year my parents sent me to an Adventist academy. Only then did I completely, of my own desire, tear myself away from the lifestyle I’d loved. I started reading my Bible again and spending time in prayer, trying to figure out if God still had a plan for me, or if I’d completely blown it.
For more than a year I thought I had totally ruined my life, and I struggled with immense guilt. As I read my Bible, I found and especially treasured Psalm 103:12: “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us” (NKJV).* But Satan relentlessly kept shoving my mistakes in my face.
I started my junior year with a completely different plan for my love life: I wasn’t going to look for a boyfriend. I poured myself into my schoolwork, while trying to befriend  everybody. Some guys were interested in me, but I didn’t really try to form a special relationship with any of them.
A few weeks later one of the guys I’d been hanging out with asked me to the upcoming banquet. To me it seemed completely random and spontaneous since the banquet was a month and a half away!
Even after we went to the banquet together, this guy and I remained close. Eventually he asked me out. Ten months later, we’re still going strong. Oh, we’ve had our share of struggles, but we’ve come out on the other side stronger and closer.
When I was younger, I made a mental list of all the character traits I wanted in my “Prince Charming.” Books I read constantly told me to write down my list, but I never did. Among other things on my list were loyalty, patience, gentleness, brains, a sense of humor, Christian beliefs, and good looks (yes, looks were on my list). I really wanted someone who genuinely cared about me.
As I spent more time with the charming young man who’d asked me out, I realized he was all the things on the list and more—things I didn’t even ask for. While that certainly smoothed our relationship road, I believe the reason our relationship is so good is because he’s my best friend.
It’s interesting that when I finally moved away from the rudder and let God do the sailing for my love life, my boat headed in exactly the direction I wanted. Before that point, I thought I could control my own love life just fine. I was actually afraid that God would give me what was “best” for me instead of what I wanted, which nearly wrecked my life. Yet God has given me everything I wanted.
I’m still in high school, and this boyfriend may not be the one who walks me down the aisle, but God has taught me a huge lesson about waiting on Him (Psalm 27:14). I promise you, if you will give your love life over to God, He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).
*Texts credited to NKJV are from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
 
Samantha Grant is a high school student from Nevada.




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