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Best Friend Drama

Kelly White

 Naturally, at some point you’re going to have a disagreement with your best friend. How you handle the situation will make all the difference. On the other side of a well-settled disagreement, you can find a deeper friendship and spiritual growth. Here’s how.

Stop and think. The next time a disagreement with your best friend comes up, ask God to help you work through these questions to get some answers:
Is what’s going on a big enough deal to even have a disagreement?
What will I get out of this disagreement—is it about personal gain or revenge?
Is anger taking control of me, or is making up my true concern?
We often tear each other apart over the small stuff, only to look back with regret. Don’t let this happen in your friendship.
Talk it out. Set up a time when you can talk to your best friend at a place where you won’t be surrounded by distractions. While you talk, have a good attitude, speak your opinions out of love, and remain calm while you listen to your friend’s side of the disagreement. Taking time to communicate can create trust and deepen your friendship.
After your talk, if you still don’t agree, at least you can move on in the relationship, knowing that you openly shared your feelings.
Treat your friend like God wants you to. People and relationships are gifts from God. Here’s how He wants you to treat others during tough times:
• James 1:19, 20: “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Your anger can never make things right in God’s sight” (NLT).*
• John 13:35: “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples” (NLT).
• Proverbs 25:15: “Patience can persuade a prince, and soft speech can crush strong opposition” (NLT).
*Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Kelly White writes from Idaho.

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“Burned” by Friends

by Elli King

All I can say is, when it comes to picking friends, make good choices. Learn from my mistakes.

 When choosing friends, what should you look for? Think personality, character, moral values, and things in common. Don’t think wealth, looks, and popularity. This is what I’ve learned—the hard way.

I went to a new school where I knew quite a few people. But since I transferred in the middle of the school year, I had to choose which clique to hang out with, and basically I had two choices.
There were two girls in particular that I knew, and one girl’s group of friends was a little bit crazy, but they were really nice people. With the other girl, I had one of those love/hate relationships—she was my best friend one minute and a backbiting enemy the next. Her group of friends was very popular. While I felt somewhat accepted in her group, the problem was, I couldn’t be myself.
After a while a guy who liked my popular friend started flirting with me to make her jealous. Not realizing what he was doing, I started liking him. When he decided he was done using me, he asked out my friend instead.
After this incident I decided that I needed to choose my friends more carefully. I started  hanging out with the other girl’s group. They were fun-loving but nice girls. I had way more fun, and my new friends actually cared about me.
The popular people in the other group weren’t very nice to me for the rest of that school year. But I saw it as totally worth it, because they taught me how to choose better friends.
It’s been a few years since then. Some of my friends have transferred to other schools. Things change so much in high school. The girl who was so popular a few years ago doesn’t have as many friends as she used to, but she’s matured a lot. The other girl and I are still very good friends, but now she goes to a different school, and I hardly ever see her.
Life moves on, and we must move with it. Be the kind of friend you want to have, and choose friends who will be there for you—people you can be friends with forever.
Elli King says, “I love sports, competitive swimming especially. I write music, play the piano and harp, and I like to sing.” She writes from California.

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