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I’m sorry, but we’re done.”Add Comment
“What! Why, Drake?” Melissa asked me, bewildered.¹
“Are you being serious right now?” I responded, standing there wondering how I was going to get through to her. She wasn’t understanding the reasons behind my decision to break up.
How does she not get this? After all that happened.
It was a warm day in May during my senior year in academy, and graduation was approaching. The academy’s spring beach vespers was right around the corner.
I was an “OK” Christian—raised in the church, attended church most Sabbaths—not a total saint, but not a hell-bringer, either. My new girlfriend, however, was the complete opposite. Melissa, a junior, was somewhat of a rebel, always breaking rules and causing commotion around campus. Melissa did not attend church at all, but that didn’t stop me from being with her.
No one really ever understood why I would even consider dating Melissa, but I was ultimately pressured. It seemed that all my friends were dating somebody, and I felt alone. So I decided to just get out there and take a chance on a girl I really didn’t know.
My closest friends had warned me about Melissa’s habits and tendencies, but I was eager and didn’t care to wait, or even get to know Melissa well enough.
Single, I felt alone and miserable seeing everyone with someone else. But when I got with Melissa, I felt as if I’d finally caught up. Things seemed fairly decent, though we had been together for only about a month.
The day of the annual spring beach vespers arrived.
“So, do you want me to drive? Or how do you want to do this?” I asked Melissa.
“Well, I was thinking we would drive separate cars.”
“Separate cars? Mel, that’s a waste of gas and—”
“Look, I have a surprise, and it requires that we drive separate cars, OK?” she coyly responded.
“If you say so,” I replied.
“Great! Then I will see you there!” she chirped, planting a kiss on my cheek and running off.
A few of my friends and I drove to the beach and began to mix and mingle with everyone. In the back of my mind I thought about Melissa and her surprise. After a couple of hours had passed, I began to worry about where Melissa was. Soon she showed up and lazily walked toward me. Seeing her in the distance, I rushed to meet her.
“Melissa, where have you been?”
“Remember, I told you I had a surprise,” she replied sluggishly.
At that moment Melissa grabbed my hand and took me for a walk. Something was different about her; she seemed a little more loose than usual. As we walked, Melissa stumbled through the sand and was extremely whimsical and unstable in her speech. Blindly, I just followed, worried yet excited about what was in store. I wondered what exactly the “surprise” was all about. I was no expert, but I was pretty sure that this “surprise” was going to be sex. Upon this thought, I immediately felt uneasy. If this confusing situation was all about sex, I was not ready for it.
This is it. This is the moment most guys can’t wait for, but I am not ready for this! OK . . . just keep cool. I need to stop this . . . or maybe not? I don’t want to humiliate myself, especially not with Melissa. Maybe we’ll just make out or something . . . that I can handle.
After walking for a bit, I began to realize that we were getting farther and farther away from the group.
Finally I asked, “OK, seriously, where are we going?”
“You’ll see,” she said.
At last we arrived at our destination. A group of other academy students were gathered around a bonfire and seemed to be having an awesome time. It seemed like just a small private vespers, but as I neared the group I realized that this was a different kind of party. These other students had drugs and alcohol. Instantly it became clear that Melissa was not extra-happy; she was under the influence. In an awkward situation and not knowing how to get out of it, I felt another kind of peer pressure now.
A million thoughts floated in my head: How did I get here? This is not what I was expecting at all. What is Melissa thinking! I am the oldest person here; if they get caught I’m going to be the one to blame!
Unsure of what to do, I just sat down and was quiet, trying not to attract attention to myself. Melissa, however, was indulging in the acts around her. She offered for me to join, but I declined. Everyone around me was either drunk or high. Meanwhile, I contemplated my next move. Again Melissa offered me a drink.
“Well, why not?” she asked.
“Why not? Melissa, look around you! I am not into this!”
“Don’t you know anything about me?” I asked.
“We’ve been together for a month . . . this is kinda like an icebreaker for us,” she responded.
She really doesn’t know anything about me, I thought to myself.
Melissa again asked, “So are you going to take the drink or what?”
I accepted the drink, stared at it, and then put it down. I wanted to leave, but I didn’t want to be embarrassed. Melissa began to drift off with the other students and mingle. I tried to find an opportune moment to escape. Gathering the courage just to get up, I managed to get away.
I was angry, and maybe even a little upset with Melissa’s surprise. OK, very upset with Melissa, and I didn’t know how to deal with the whole ordeal that had just occurred. I returned to the vespers and tried just to forget about it.
The weekend had passed, and Melissa and I hadn’t spoken since the “surprise.” Melissa had been calling and calling, but I refused to answer the phone. I knew, though, that at some point I had to confront her. Monday morning had finally come around. At school Melissa saw me and ran up. I wanted to head in the other direction, but it was too late.
“Hey, what happened Friday? You left. Is something wrong?” she asked.
“Well, I wasn’t ready for something like that,” I replied.
“Oh . . . well, my last boyfriend had no problem with things like that.”
“I’m not your ex-boyfriend. I’m totally a different person.”
“It’s all right; you’ll come around eventually.”
“What!” I replied in disbelief.
I had two options. I could either stick with Melissa and experience another mistake, or take the high road and break up with her. I then knew what I had to do.
“I’m sorry, but we are done,” I told her.
After a long talk I broke up with Melissa. I made it clear that we were not meant for each other. I went on to explain that if she had had my interests in mind, she would’ve known that I was not going to like that surprise. In the end Melissa was not bitter about the breakup. In fact, she was committed in another relationship the following week.
The Bible says in Proverbs 13:20: “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”² It is true that if I had stayed with Melissa and hung around with her friends, it would have been only a matter of time until I got caught up in the same negative stuff they were into.
As it turns out (and I’m not bragging—I have a lot more growing to do), I guess I was more than just an “OK” Christian. I was able (with divine help, of course) to overcome temptation, and I learned a lesson about patience.
I’ve been single ever since my time with Melissa. But that’s OK. I’ve learned that being patient saves time and misery. Galatians 6:9 says: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Although it may seem difficult to be single among an array of couples, it will pay off to hold on and be strong. Good things come to those who wait. I have decided that if I am meant to be in a relationship, God will make that special girl’s presence known to me.
¹Names have been changed.
²Bible texts in this article are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Drake Torres is a pseudonym.
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