Advice

To deal with your problem, you could go a couple directions. The first one seems obvious: get a job. If the prerequisite for dating in your house is to have employment, finding work would be the first step.

Being able to hold a job requires a certain level of maturity. Maybe your folks are waiting to see if you are mature enough to hold a job before they let you date. But honestly, I don’t think this is just about a job.

I’m guessing that you and your parents have a bit of a trust issue going on. Parents will let their kids date when they trust them. And I’m sure your parents have been trying to teach you certain social and moral skills that will make endeavors such as dating safe and fun.

If your parents don’t trust that you have learned your lessons well enough, they will continue to give you opportunities that are less complicated than dating until you learn them. Right now it seems that your parents  believe you need to grow up a bit more before you date.

I also don’t think you trust your parents very much, because good communication flows when parties trust each other. You have been dating behind your parents’ back. For some reason you can’t trust them enough to tell them what you’re doing. This gives them a good reason not to trust you.

Dating is not a little thing, especially when it’s a secret. You are deceiving your parents, and deception never builds lasting trust. I’d guess that something similar to this has happened before, since your dad has already prepared your punishment. Usually parents don’t do that  unless there’s been an incident in the past.

Exodus 20:12 says: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” There aren’t too many ways around this commandment. After reading it, you have to decide what you’re going to do.

The second direction you could head is harder than getting a job. You could be honest and tell your parents about your relationship. This is going to be unpleasant at first. You’ll have to listen to a familiar lecture and probably undergo some punishment. This is the cost of building trust. The fact that you have disobeyed is not going to sit lightly with your folks, and you’ll need to regain the ground you’ve lost.

James 4:17 says that if you know what you should do and you don’t do it, you’ve sinned. The right thing to do is to confess your relationship to your parents and be willing to face the consequences.

If the guy you’re with is a quality guy, he’ll understand that you won’t be able to date him anymore. If he is genuine, he will wait for you and help you build trust with your folks in the meantime. He will do this without complaining if he understands that good relationships are built on trust.